Nah, not realy kettle. You probs jus dont beleive. an i probably have more understanding in psychology as i have a degree in junior and have been studying since i was 5
To begin, you should have known this response would be a bullet into your own skull. Presumed appeals to authority mean exceedingly little when no evidence has been given to support said authority. Personally I spent three years studying psychology, have a major in psychology and philosophy, with supporting degrees in theology as well as practicing licensed degrees in alternative therapy and Hollistic Healing Practitioner. With a relatively small amount of credit hours my majors in psychology and philosophy can easily be pushed into Bachelor's degrees; I simply do not have the time to dedicate to this at the moment. It took me about five years to acquire the knowledge I have in these areas through University and College level studies.
Saying all of that was unnecessary, but it serves to point out that appeals to authority are relatively easy to make. I am hoping that your vampirism is merely a psychological fascination as opposed to something more serious, such as the development of Renfield's Syndrome. The desire to feed on energy is a choice; not a requirement. The only time it becomes necessary to the mind is through obsession and fascination, where autosuggestion plays a role in making your mind believe that it needs or is addicted to something.
I do not desire to give the impression that I do not believe in vampires; quite the contrary. Historical events documented by many authorities of the time provide for very throught-provoking material. The vampirism of Arnold Paole in the village of Meduegna, for example, is the classic vampire story from which nearly all other stories have been derived. The difference, however, is that even in legal documents of the time everything which the story says happened can be verified in one manner or another. The story established the concept of being converted into a vampire by being bitten, resurrecting the corpse after death, coming out only at night (though not being harmed by light), and feeding on the blood of the living (particularly virgins). Before the disturbance at Meduegna, the only records of anything simulating a vampire were to be found in Rome, where, interestingly enough, is where the youth who was originally bitten claims he encountered some "phenomenal beast who, attacking, quickly bit into my throat and disappeared." The other, more detailed historical account, would be the disturbances of the village of Hadim. Apart from these, I have met several powerful psychic vampires in my meetings with other occultists, one of whom was able to consume enough energy to put out all the candles of a chantellier and, leaning foward and exhaling, could light them all once more. Likewise I have met people who could put others to sleep by draining their vital energy, and have in fact been put to sleep on one occasion myself by such a person. In my talks with these people however, the people who can generate verifiable demonstrations of their vampiric abilities, they are all concurrent with a single fact: that the idea that psychic vampires have a damaged energy system and/or require to feed on the energy of others is entirely fictitious, and that so long as this mindset is maintained no real progress can be made, as the belief sets the body's own energy back to a default level on a regular basis, expelling acquired energy.
I might not have been studying vampirism since I was five, but I've been studying occultism longer than many of our members here, most likely including you, have been alive, during which time I've met many people and seen and learned many things. Amongst these, I might add, is the understanding that a five year old really can not learn much due to the development of the child's physical brain: object consistency has only begun to develop within the past year, and the hippocampus is still not fully developed within the temporal lobe. As a result certain progesterone receptors in the hippocampus have not completed their maturation in communication with the rest of the limbic system's appropriate glands. All of this gathers together to account for two things: the loss of memory before the ages 4-5 (with the exception of a few minorities), and the incredible growth of the brain from the ages of six through thirteen. In the fifth and sixth years of child development myelin begins to form within the gray matter of the temporal and frontal lobes while certain synapses are pruned from the brain (particularly if they are designated "useless"). During this pruning not only do children lose a great deal of their memories, but it is in fact harder for them to concentrate and to formulate new memories. They are also the most susceptible to emotional interference, as the hippocampus is beginning to mature and so the amount of estrogen in the body is rising.
Now I'm sure you know this, as you've studied psychology apparently, and it is the reason why in my martial arts class for children I never accept a student below seven years of age. You may have read something very simple when you were five years old, but unless you were one of the prodigies I strongly doubt you were doing anything that could be considered logistic "studying" at that age.