Author Topic: Shared Transformation- A personal Kundalini story  (Read 5865 times)

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September 26, 2004, 06:37:14 AM
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Shared Transformation Support Staff

Anyone in need of further information and support with Kundalini-related problems can contact:
Bob Boyd at

Bob's personal Kundalini story is below.

by Bob Boyd

I knew nothing of Kundalini when it awakened in me, and was in no way prepared for what was ahead. To briefly give my story, in 1971 after about two years of formal meditation, powerful white light lit up my being like the sun, and thereafter I had energy flowing up my spine nonstop as I do to this very moment. After a few years of this, I found that I could no longer do much reading at night, or much focus on studying without waking up throughout the night.

Daily aerobics had the same effect, as did meditation or prayer (past about 20 minutes once a day). Due to this I could not complete college. Prolonged concentration drove copious, overpowering amounts of Kundalini into my head, causing severe headaches. With this came the knowledge that had I persisted in my studies this primordial current would have unhinged my mind.

Over the years, I tried all kinds of remedies including many yogic and other spiritual practices as well as prayer, visits to healers and appeals for advice to numerous teachers. None of this worked. I feel that the difficulty lies in the fact that once Kundalini is awakened, it will not be forced or coaxed down. Moreover, it is extremely hard to correct an energy imbalance incurred from one tradition with the methods of another.

My condition is now comparatively mild; my only problem is the sleeping disturbance when I go beyond certain bounds, physically, mentally or spiritually. On the positive side, I am blessed with a lightness of being and look young beyond my years (which may or may not be Kundalini related) and I have experienced a quantum leap in compassion. To me, that is the greatest siddhi, more meaningful than walking through walls, levitating, or having shakti powerful enough to knock even skeptics to the ground.

Look at how in many of the NDE accounts, the prevailing question is along the lines: "How loving have you been in your life? How kind to others?" This and many other things lead me to suspect that compassion and love are critical in the school of life and thereafter. As the highly impressive Master Sri Chinmoy said, "The heart is safer and surer than going through the head." In my experience it is also gentler. I finally found a method which, though not curative, worked better than anything else I had tried. Basically, I just surrender from the heart to the Absolute (God, Christ, the Tao or whatever one chooses to call it) and ask for guidance from the heart center. This is not exotic, elaborate or particularly glamorous, but for me it's like tuning into the frequencies of the ruler of Time and Space. (Not that I have a direct line, or am fully cognizant of a Higher Power, but this keeps most of the energy out of the head, and provides a smooth infusion.)

There are many Kundalini casualties similar to mine. Kundalini energy literally crippled me mentally in terms of what academic achievements and future accomplishments I may have had. Some people it has destroyed. My best friend who was initiated into the same tradition as mine wound up in a psychiatric ward with a full blown nervous breakdown from which he never fully recovered. In the view of most wide-eyed believers that could not have happened: the Guru or God would not have let it. Here is a hard lesson I have learned in my lifetime: Not all spiritual stuff is safe, even if you believe "God only gives you what you can handle." Pray to God, but tie down your camel.

It bewilders me that many people don't appear to heed the warnings about the dangers of raising Kundalini. I didn't have any. I didn't know what Kundalini was until it was far too late to do much about it. I have read and heard of case after case where severe conditions have developed. I have an acquaintance who used to be involved in a Tibetan meditation community, an offshoot of Tail of the Tiger, and he avoided practices that could trigger Kundalini because in his words, "Everybody I know who has gotten involved with it has had serious problems."

I think one of the problems is that Kundalini sounds enchanting to many people due to claims of the powers it can unearth. If a person is hellbent on trying to awaken it, good luck, but be aware that there are people all over the world who rue the day they walked into the Kundalini ring of fire. This reminds me of the words of a guru who said, "Everyone wants spiritual experiences until they get them." Believe me, there is more truth to this than I can express.

I believe as Gopi Krishna and many other people have pointed out that it's best not to directly try to awaken Kundalini. If it's meant to happen it will; trying to hasten the process is fraught with risks. Personally, if I had a choice I would have opted for a path sans Kundalini. That said, it might be that Kundalini awakenings are unavoidable for some of us, no matter what path we choose to follow. If that is so -- or if one is determined to stir up the Serpent -- then I would highly recommend a path that focuses on the heart, or has a Master known for compassion. I don't know if Kundalini is part of the Dalai Lama's particular expression of Buddhism, but he is, in my eyes, a living personification of the true power of love and compassion.

copyright © Bob Boyd, 1999

Additional Help
Kundalini, Spiritual Emergence, And Support
This is Bob's own site, providing further links to sites offering support for K. problems and related info

Kundaliniheat Mailing List:
Kundalini awakening is a dynamic process of rapid change which can include divine highs and terrible lows. This discussion group offers emotional support through shared information and experiences.

Strategies for a Life with a Too Early Triggered Kundalini:
Methods for coping with Kundalini energy. Much of this advice is taken from El Collie's "What Helps?" article (in Shared Transformation newsletter #8, Mar/Apr '94), reprinted in Danish translation as "Gode Råd Fra California" in the Aug '95 issue of Kunda*Linien, the Kundalini newsletter of Denmark's Kundalini - Network & Information.

(Also check Other Kundalini Resources
for information on dealing with Kundalini problems.)

People only see what they are prepared to see.

Give all to love; obey thy heart.

Insist on yourself; never imitate... Every great man is unique.

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.

Speak what you think today in words as hard as cannon-balls and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today.[/I]
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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