I was feeling suicidal, so I checked myself into a psych ward.
During my visit, I was doing a meditation TDS gave me, and it modified itself without my own intervention.
A burst of light hit me from my higher self, and I could feel my third eye chakra really intensely.
Then everything started changing, I entered the first stages of samadhi, twice.
And then something unbelievable happened. I heard a divine voice in my head start to say things before people around me said them. The first thing being "You're one of us now!" right before my friend said it and shook my hand.
And I've developed a small amount of clairvoyance.
To top things off, I can now communicate with the Goddess I worship, the Great Mother MahaKali.
And when I give myself over to divine will, She can control my body like its on puppet strings.
And now when I look at myself in the mirror, I see the eyes of an Initiate. Vibrant, full of life and color, yet glossed over and detached looking.
And I can now see God in everyone else's eyes, no matter how dimly from illness or sin.
Life is a beautiful thing.
A week before I finally decided to check myself in, I felt a vague calling to go to the psych ward that I couldn't quite put my finger on, like that's were God/dess wanted me to go. And when I followed it, I came out an entirely new person. No longer feeling like death embodied, but like the Light. And the Darkness. But the darkness is no longer in my heart though my body may not be pure.
I even psi-vamped other spiritual/mental impurities a little bit and then burned them off by praying to Christ and Kali in mantras, and got massive dopamine rushes, but I'm not going to do that any longer, because it would wear me down.
Turns out I was clairaudient all along, and not schizo, just my clairaudience had no filter so anything could get in. Now that I'm connected to Kali and a White Lodge, the negatives cannot penetrate my dome.