It's a long one.
So, spiritualist invites to his home his non-believer friend for a tour of the spirituali's new outdoor sanctuary. Upon the non-believers arrival, the spiritualist begins to excitedly explain his new sanctuary. The non-believer scoffs and mocks at every turn.
SP: "this the altar at which I burn frankincense to create a peaceful and calm environment for the spirits with which I wish to commune."
NB: "so you just burn things and then some greater things appear to hang out with you/"
SP:"more or less, it's not quite that simple. And sometimes it's not quite that safe. There are dangerous and malicious spirits, you know."
NB: "oh yes, I'm quite sure. Generally, they roll in on flaming unicorns."
The spiritualist ignores the stab and goes on to explain
SP:"sometimes, I have to burn this sage to keep away negative and evil energies. This helps to keep me safe."
NB: "or you could get a gun."
The spiritualist ignores his friend again and explains more of hs rituals and experiences. The friend, not really interested, picks up a dried and spiraled stick from a separate altar.
NB: "and what is this? Dried snake to raise the dead? Dessicate slug for natural male enhancement?"
The spiritualist sighs and responds, "no, that's Off brand repellant. It keeps the mosquitoes away."