Author Topic: My Own Beliefs  (Read 829 times)

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July 11, 2010, 12:34:52 PM
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Tribulations

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My own beliefs are that I'm a human being. I believe I am connected to god, Jehovah, in a way. Perhaps I'm just too scared to admit that there's nothing protecting me and that I'm vulnerable. I don't really know though. I don't really attract negativity or negative events, seemingly in the face of them negativity doesn't end up following through. I am open minded towards both sides of the coin, but I'm not ready to make a decision about my beliefs being true or not.

I've been through everything. I have no idea if anything's true. Not that I'm eager to define it as right or wrong, but I don't identify as my past beliefs currently. I don't reject them though. I never would. They're part of me.

I used to be delusional. That's the best way I can put it. And if I wasn't delusional, then there's a level that is a mirror image. Attacked by all sorts of beings of the imagination, becoming anything that you find. I say of the imagination, but I'm still unsure. Not that I'm quick to reinforce that it's the truth, but I'm unable mentally to understand the reasoning behind what happened.

It all started with drugs. It planted this seed in me, that shaped the way I view spirituality, or at least, whatever I got into. I had it defined as spirituality, and that's what I believed. In spirituality only existed deception and a trap to steal your energy, yet now I don't believe in violence. Maybe some people still exist on that level. They believe, or possibly are even consumed by entities that attack people. And I was just a victim if what I experienced has any truth behind it.

Pawns to our own horizon. Creating what we want to hear. Call the fallen idol that lays inside yourself to realize the flame is burning brighter than ever. Are humans really capable of creating this world as they dream, and influence it with something imaginary? If this is true then I should bow and apologize for using the word imaginary because it's just another form of creation, and the faceless beings that practice it are their own gods.

I know not understanding. I know not peace of mind. I know solace in the fact this does not destroy me, and I'm able to live without the truth. But one day, I hope to become enlightened. If only a ray of light passes through my past and what I need to hear, then I think I may shed a tear. I know I deserve nothing, but persisently I've pushed myself into deeper and deeper webs. Those webs perhaps are still intact in the deepest recesses of my mind, waiting for me to clear them. It's hard to understand things when the actions of the past resonate with confusion and deny you from a solid view of a desire that may not even have meaning.

Why do I desire to know such things?

Just another brick in the wall. I am driven by actions I can not understand. For I am just a mortal man.
Are humans really capable of creating this world as they dream?

July 14, 2010, 11:43:42 PM
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Tribulations

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This might fit better in the spirituality section, as it's not really any sort of theory or anything, just a mild walkthrough of myself on some level.

And even then, it's nothing definitive.

EDIT: For an update, since writing that, I'm not even sure about being "connected to Jehovah". I'm at a point where I need to figure a lot of things out, and figure out my experiences and what influenced them or allowed them to happen. What ALLOWED what doesn't fit into things/make sense (As in. I'm questioning the experiences I know are probably not true.) happen.

Well, there's your update for the curious people. :P
« Last Edit: July 15, 2010, 12:02:18 AM by Tribulations »
Are humans really capable of creating this world as they dream?

July 25, 2010, 01:48:50 PM
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Kilik

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