Unlocking the locked.

[Zeronock]

Alright I'm an old member who went through an interesting... period in my life some years ago and locked much of my memory away to keep from repeating what was then a fatal flaw in my mental stability. But as i've grown over the past few years I can't help but look back at all this site represents and wonder if i truly remember getting serious results or if I'm just a crazy loon(pretty sure it's the first one though). But what I do know for a fact is that when I recovered from my breakdown I locked much of my own mind away from myself, notinhg serious of course. But it's hard to even meditate anymore. I've scanned through all these old articles and I know them. But i can no longer do them.

I've read all 27 of my posts to date, which only showed me how little i knew back then but nothing could inadvertently jar my mind. Like an amnesiac trying to remember his life.

So here i am, this hallowed digital hall, asking for help.



PS. when the hell did this become an emoticon? 

[Steve]

Inner meditation, not a quieting of the mind but a seeking of the Self.

~Steve

[ghostcompiler]

>> So here i am, this hallowed digital hall, asking for help.

Repressing memory is a very strong technique.
Regardless if used by "will" or "uncontrolled" (please note, those word were used on purpose.
I do not want to start a discussion about what exactly a "wish/will/desired" is
or how much "control" really can be put on those).

Whatever happened back then a decision was made.
A decision to go on another path. Who knows if
this path was really that different from the one you walked on before.
You said when browsing through your posts you now see what little you knew really.

Maybe this was the lesson. To learn something new we sometimes first have to forget.
Sometimes a sacrifice is needed to achieve what you are longing for.

When you look back now. did you really "need" the knowledge you gathered ?
Those tiny bits you remember again.

Perhaps you ask for true understanding of what you found out back then.
And this comes now. Bit by bit.

Don't know if this was helpful.
But I hope.

[darthlobo]

I have tried myself to "delete" certain memories from my mind.  Some are gone, while others seem to hit me when I least expect it.  I don't think a memory can be destroyed, just buried.  Try to do things and look at certain objects, maybe it'll jog it.  Sort of like amnesia patients.

Try to keep a calm mind, and maybe they will find their way back home.


Good luck.

[Zeronock]

To clarify, by how little i knew back then was intended to represent life knowledge/experience. not technical skills.

It was like driving at the age of 5. damned destructive if you do it.

Now that I've grown i'm ready to drive, but I've locked the keys in a box and hidden the box in my attic.

And i just realized that i use metaphors way to much.

[ChezNips]

I strongly recommend that you look into the Silca Mind Control techniques and learn how the subconscious mind works.  It would answer a lot of your questions and teach you some great stuff as it would apply to the will and desire as applied to magick and psi.