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Topics - Akenu

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The Cafeteria / Ultimate Kilik thread
« on: August 15, 2018, 10:11:13 PM »
Man, I really miss Kilik nowadays. Let's make a parody thread, so...
What do you think about the recent Alex Jones controversy?

Technical Support / Post formatting problem
« on: June 18, 2018, 12:55:26 PM »
Hey, I tend to use a blank line as a separation between paragraphs.
Yet after posting the message, the extra blank line is missing. What's up with that?

Questions & Suggestions / Suggestions for forum improvement
« on: September 14, 2017, 01:30:13 PM »
OK, here are some suggestions that could bring the forum back to life.

  • WYSIWYG editor for posts. Seriously, what year is this?
  • Mobile version of the forum.
  • SEO related functionality
  • Close the friggin' IRC

Ad first 3: This forum is based on SMF, there are plugins for these, just use them
Ad 4: It would be nice if even a casual conversation was back on the forum, it would bring some activity on the forum and help with the resurrection.

Theories, Articles, and Philosophy / Religion and cosmology
« on: January 10, 2017, 10:28:04 PM »
Religion is very old, and I think it is probably as old as humanity itself. We tend to fear the unknown, that's why we have to know things, but I we have to name what we fear. There are natural processes in this world, thin like weather, earthquakes, death, processes we couldn't explain at the time, that's why we built mythos around them, some of these exist even today.

Story of Abraham
I think we all know about the Abrahamic religions: Christianity, Islam and Judaism. Pretty old faith, yet still living and breathing. The story of one God, and creating everything including two humans who populated Earth with people of different races and skin colours (and don't make me speak about Noah).

Then prophets came and caused problems the biggest bloodshed in human history. Murdering in the name of one God. Converting leftovers so a new batch of holy warriors can be created, that's how far the fear from the dark can go.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think that religion is the culprit here, we, as humans, are violent. There are people fighting because of a football match for God's sake. The thing is there will be wars always, for territory, politics, economy... But the fact is that wars over whom's imaginary friends are better come at the top ten of silliest reasons.

Conception of deities
Very old question in the occult circles, where do deities come from? We already do know about our power to create egregores, but could all the deities be like that? The creation of the mankind? I have spent quite some time summoning various spirits to the point of it becoming boring, the initial sense of dread quickly disappears and communication becomes casual over time, and maybe with just one exception, Death.

Death is truly something dreadful, a natural process we know a very little about, but we don't know what death is and what comes after, and that's why religions are still alive and kicking, and the afterlife. Anyway, let me continue, Death is the only one where the sense of dread remains, so, could its beings be the original ones?

Frankly, I don't think so, they are just more powerful egregores, and and for a quite simple reason, but I really, really. The fear of death and the mourning over dead friends and relatives is not only the human characteristics, it is shared among the species. A dog won't care about Zeus because it doesn't know about Zeus, but it knows Death.

I think most occultists know about this, but I there are 7 planets representing 7 forces in the universe that affect our lives. Did you just notice how silly this looks? OK, it is scientifically proven that people are different when born during different seasons, but that's the thing of our environment, not about which one signs are planets in.

Just to point out, astrology was important as it was the basis of astronomy, but we all know today that the geocentric model of the universe is false and therefore obsolete. This system is also the reason why our week has 7 days, despite the fact that 5 would make more sense considering that 1 year contains 365,25 days (that's why there's a leap year every 4 years).

The tables used for astrology are not accurate anymore, either, considering that Sunday should enter Aries on 21st of March (mark of spring) yet it is still in Pisces at the time.

The end
We are already old enough as a species to let the old faery tales go. After all, isn't it funnier to evoke a predator than some ancient blood cult creation. It's going to work either way. Anyway, whatever you do, and don't let your beliefs to limit your progress and do your best to understand modern science, medicine and technology.

Magick / Franz Bardon's IIH Cheat-sheet
« on: June 12, 2016, 09:03:54 AM »
A simple cheat-sheet that shows different practices from IIH split into steps and practice types (mental, psychic, physical).

Magick / The Gospel Of The Ghouls: book review
« on: June 04, 2016, 03:12:54 AM »
So, this is a review of the book called The Gospel Of The Ghouls, written by Baron and Baronessa Araignee. For those interested, the book's ISBN is 978-0-620-71222-4.

Before we continue in this, I should probably share a fair warning here. This book is truly a book about necromancy, with all its positives and negatives. Don't expect to light a black candle and become an instant necromancer. Another piece of fair warning I am going to give you is that this isn't a book for a weak stomach. If you are an animal loving neo pagan or a follower of a “dark path of fluffy E. A. Curling”, this book isn't for you. After all, the book itself says: “Remember, a life for a life, never more, never less.” Very last piece of advice from me: This isn't something you could just try and then throw into the corner, necromancy requires a full dedication. You have been warned.

Necromancy is a great paradigm, granting superb powers to the practitioner who isn't scared of few sacrifices (the pun intended). Remember that if you play with matches, you get burned, and if you play with Death… Fortunately this book gives a very good explanation about how to do things right, which is very rare in this field. You will learn how to gain your personal spirit guide in the form of the Agent of Death, you will learn how to make altars for deceased, how to work with these spirits, what's the difference between a dead spirit and a shade, how to make your own shrunken heads and many, many more.

The structure of the book is amazing. Practical part always comes with a basic explanation of the ritual and what can be achieved with it and only after that you get a detailed explanation of each part of the rite, that's a great safety mechanism for eager readers who start the ritual on one page and become horrified after turning the next one. I should also state this book is also great for the reasons of history study. The traditional African practices are very well preserved in this book, but also together with some Aztec and Indian practices, including the infamous darker aspects of a real tantra, and many, many more.

Body Energy Arts / Chi Kung - 4 Weeks experiment - journal
« on: May 09, 2016, 02:36:28 PM »
Monday, 9 May 2016
Chi Kung experiment
So, I have gotten into Chi Kung again and have decided to give it a 4 week try, that means till 5th June.

I have experimented with Chi Kung before, many years ago but at the time I felt silly doing many of the exercises. I would say I have matured in this and I am ready for a next attempt.

Setup of the experiment
For now I can say I will do 7 exercises of Tao Yin every evening and Tin Kuang at least once a day.
Tao Yin is a cleansing exercise with a slight energy improve. Tin Kuang is also geared towards cleansing but also for forming a connection between lower and upper tantien.

Preliminary exercises
It's safe to say I have already done some exercises during the weekend and even managed to locate the real tantien (lower tantien specific to my energy body) so I can work with Chi more effectively now.

Further development of the experiment
Tao Yin and Tin Kuang are a good beginning, but I would like to add more complex exercises to the mix as the experiment progresses,

Notes so far
I didn't have time so far to do a full Tin Kuang, but I have to say I did Tao Yin today (Monday) and yesterday (Sunday) and the final feeling is pretty amazing. My whole body feels a little bit hot, but in a pleasant manner, I also feel more relaxed.

Magick / Child abuse in IOT?
« on: April 29, 2016, 05:59:16 AM »
Today a very disturbing piece of information got to my ears. Apparently there was/is a group of child rapists operating within the U.K. Wales IOT. Nathaniel J. Harris has informed me about this situation and he has also posted the conversation with Peter J. Caroll on his blog so check it out:

I would just like to add that these news are really horrible and disturbing. It also clearly shows the IOT order isn't working as it should and should therefore be disbanded. Let's hope all criminals interested in these acts will face justice.

It also seems that Ray Sherwin (one of the original founders of IOT) has exposed some malpractices within the order in his book Vitriol. The whole story is really disturbing and based on some information in it it also seems Phil Hine isn't as great as one would think.

Magick / Project: Over-condensing the Light
« on: March 14, 2016, 02:40:22 AM »
So, I always found curious why while working with Astral Light it is recommended to take what you want from it and then expel it from your body. It really leads to the question: What would happen if you keep the Astral Light in your body.

So, I am running a week long test now to figure it out and to have faster results I am actual trying to make the light in my body as dense as possible (to the consistency of milk).

I have already finished the first session and I have to say, I feel heavy. The initial numbness common for meditation went away very fast and now I feel like having a way better awareness of my body.

Theories, Articles, and Philosophy / Magick not working?
« on: March 01, 2016, 02:14:12 AM »
I have noticed a lot of people who used to practice occultism are now against it, saying it doesn't work and it's all in our heads. I have already written an article about the psychology paradigm and its pitfalls so I would like to link you there. For the rest of this article I am going to write a set of conditions you should follow for your practice to have fruits.

Keep a journal
I have written this over million times now, yet some people still don't get the hint. Journal helps you to remember things better, track your progress, track your results for later analysis AND it gives you important stimuli for times when you are in doubt. A journal is a must for every occultist.

Also, if your operation goes awry, write it to your journal as well, for example if you mispronounce some name, if you forget some move or simply when you are just not feeling it, write it all down. That way you will get doubts out of your head and later when checking results you can say: "Ok, I didn't do A and B and the operation failed" or: "I forgot to do A and I did B instead of C, yet the operation worked, so A and B might not be as important".

Steady practice
People who quit Magick tend to have very intense, but shortlived practices. Hours of meditations for practiced for 1 month at most. It is better to meditate daily 5 minutes for a full year than meditate 2+ hours for 2 weeks. Steady practice is really important as you cannot boil water if you keep putting it off the stove.

Steady practice also allows to create a habit of doing Magick, that is also very important for the change of perspective I have mentioned in article "Defeating theory, part III". Also if you practice isn't steady, you shouldn't consider that everyone has the same problems you do.

Have fun
What I have noticed a lot in those who over-practice is they hate their practices. They hate doing the daily routine they chose for themselves. Your practice should be enjoyable, have fun. If your practice starts boring you, change it a bit, experiment with new things and always make sure to track it.

People also claim they do not have time for steady practice. Of course you do have time, a normal person sleeps for about 7 to 9 hours, that still gives us 17 to 15 hours of waking time. Not only that, but also a lot of practices can be integrated into the mundane life. For example in the "Sex and Magick" article I have mentioned a practice you can do every time you sit. Similarly you can take a 5 minutes of your lunch time for meditation. During lunch you can also practice conscious eating and drinking (mentioned in Magickal Curriculum). During boring meetings you can practice telekinesis on your cup of coffee. The point is that Magick should become the integral part of your life, not something you add to your already existing schedule.

Avoid unneeded reductionism
I have heard that a lot from quitters. "I don't need to do the death posture, just focusing on the sigil does the work for me". Or "I don't need to draw sigils, I will just focus on my wish and via Law of Attraction the universe manifest my desires". They also tend to argue with others about using "pointless" rituals. Later such person quits and says that Magick doesn't work. Well, are you sure Magick doesn't work when you never tried it?

I am not saying that modification and reduction aren't needed, I am chaote, after all. But this method of working should be done AFTER you already had some visible and verifiable results, AFTER you got your feet wet in the rivers of Magick. I have it hard to look at, when someone claims about how many things are not needed in Magick, not much because of them, but because of their readers. These people tend to find followers quite quickly. People who believe them and believe in their words. Imagine the betrayal when such a person, person viewed as the spark of light in the moments of darkness, turns out to be quitter and claims that Magick doesn't work.

To explain this a little better I will return to my original "boiling water" example. Normal and educated reductionism says you do not need to salt the water and you can still boil it. Or you can omit the lid of the pot and still boil the water, it will take longer time and more water will vaporize and get lost, but you will boil it. Uneducated and inexperienced point of view usually leads to "you don't need the pot or the stove to boil the water", so in one case a cold water will keep sitting in the pot doing nothing and in the other you will pour water right on the stove, effectively putting of the flame.

Keep an open mind
Belief is one of the most important aspects. The belief in success of your operation is vital for your Magick to work. And such a believe must be limitless. Now, I am not saying you should believe whatever you want and don't have any doubts at all. All I say is everything has its time. Don't be negative before and during the operation. But during the analysis of results be a little skeptical, it's actually needed to avoid the confirmation bias (the very same confirmation bias that reductionists suffer during their early stages).

Theories, Articles, and Philosophy / Sex and Magick
« on: February 25, 2016, 01:52:30 AM »
Sex in Magick and Magick in sex
Sex and Magick runs together for a really long time. There was always something mystical about sexual intercourse and the fact that we can actually make our own human descendants. Also considering some recent news (Kanye's debt for example), I think breeding should be something you have to deserve first.

Anyway, the use of sex in Magick was destined to come sooner or later. First of all, orgasm itself is a perfect mind-state for the operation, there is this tiny window where all thought processes get numb and you suddenly become concentrated at just one point, with no feeling of time. At that one point you exist just in the presence. Another asset is the physical exhaustion which gives the feeling that some energy was spent somewhere. This feeling allows you to believe some work was done towards the desired goal and more importantly that some potent energy was released toward the desired outcome.

Another great thing about Sex Magick is that most adults have sex (or masturbate), which means we do already have some opportunity to perform our Magick, we just have to use it properly. Who would say we could actually mix work with pleasure and even call it multitasking, right?

The scope of this article
I am going to try to be as general as possible so this article is useful for both men and women. Unfortunately I am just a man and my experience comes mainly from the male standpoint so I can e.g. describe the male retention practice but I don't know much about its female counterpart, sorry for that.

Something I do know about were e.g. Crowley's countless attempts to create hommunculi (artificial humans or humans with artificial souls) but I personally find this thing disturbing and I am not going to describe any of that. If you wish to know about it, it can be found in Liber Agape and I am pretty sure that K. Grant also wrote something on the topic as he inherited a lot of  A. Crowley's possessions.

The retention
The retention of sperm is originally a tantric practice (so called western tantra, maybe). The retention means that you are not allowed to ejaculate as it was believed the sperm contains vital fluids that would be lost otherwise. There were many methods how to avoid this loss including eating the white goo to let the energy re-enter the system. Well, I don't want to underestimate the drive of my male readers but just in case I will share another working method with you (despite celibacy).
It is possible for a man to have orgasm without the ejaculation thanks to the little muscles on the bridge between your genitals and your a-hole (or simply behind the balls to be more exact). It is the same muscle that allows you to interrupt the stream while you pee (this works for women, too, more about it later). If you press this muscle during orgasm you will stop your semen on the way out, meaning it will not exit your body, that's the simple way of doing this.

The harder way for the retention is to actually train the muscles. You should be able to stop your pee and the very same way to stop the stream is also the way how to train the muscle, just flex it and hold it as long as you can (not while peeing). Few weeks of training should be enough to strengthen the grip and allow you to stop the semen from exiting simply by locking it there. It is also needless to say that women have these muscles too, they are not very helpful for retention, but if a woman has trained these muscles, she will enjoy sex way more (or so I was told).
Another benefit of this practice is that it is nearly invisible, whenever you are sitting or standing in line you can simply lock in the muscles and hold, no one is going to notice (unless you stand really weird, in that case you look like you need to pee). Anyway, this allows you to practice anytime you want.

Using the sexual energy
This article wouldn't really be complete if I didn't add any way how to use this harnessed energy. The most simple way, of course, is masturbation. The prepared sigil of any kind is presented to the unconscious mind during the orgasm/ejaculation to embed desire into it. Of course how the sigil is presented depends on its type. Visual sigils are hold before the eyes, words of power are called out loud (or at least silenced), gestures are kept at the eye's level (don't try making the gesture with the same hand you are masturbating with, that would be weird).

Regarding visual sigils, some people recommend to let the load go right on it, I would rather say to keep them in the front of your eyes or visualize them and let the goo go somewhere safe. Only reason why you would want to stain the sigil would be a servitor or amulet creation, but for general work? Rather try to be tidy and reasonable :).

Working with the partner
Things I have mentioned above work with a partner, as well. It doesn't really depend whether during a traditional sex or what method of stimulation you use. You can also hide the fact about what you are doing, but frankly it is better your partner knows and you both focus on the same goal (sigils placed around the room can do the trick without exposing much).

I would also like to share one method of servitor creation for which you need a man and a woman (finally some occult reason to get social). A. Crowley has believed that a mixture of semen and women's secrets form a strong fluidum, a philosopher's fluidic condenser to be exact. Crowley also mentioned certain parameters a sex should have to make this condenser stronger. To name a few:
-long foreplay
-sexual intercourse should take 1 hour at minimum
-after all "work" is done, penis should be kept in vagina for about 15 minutes so keep the condenser in to make sure it's "baked" properly.

After that all is done you simply let it out on the prepared servitor's sigil to charge it or into a jar to store it for later use (here the knowledge of creation of fluidic condensers come in real handy).

Theories, Articles, and Philosophy / Importance of dreams in Magick
« on: February 12, 2016, 04:18:37 AM »
There are still people who underestimate the importance of dreams in Magick so I am going to explain why are dreams really important and how to atually work with them.

Consciousness versus unconsciousness
There are many ways how to define this but let's just say that your personal reality is split into what you are conscious about and what you are not conscious about. The amount of influence of your conscious and unconscious parts on your life is about 50:50, and of course consciousness also affects your unconsciousness and vice versa.

Unconsciousness does a sort of a compensation work for your daily life, it's a very cleverly designed process, but sometimes the fragment of our psyche (usually traumatic one) gets supressed from the conscious and so transfers into your un-c where it becomes more or less autonomous. This then turns into neurosis and affects your conscious life (sorry I am simplifying so much).

Another work of unconsciousness is to gather and analyze details we are not normally aware of, it can be the most subtle mixture of various physical senses up to the metaphysical perception (e.g. telepathy). This allows our consciousness to be much less occupied with seemingly unimportant details but it can also inform us back if one or more of these "unimportant" details sum up to some important event or a piece of information, but for that to happen, it also needs a communication channel, a link between conscious and unconscious.

What are dreams
Dreams are the most direct communication channel between consciousness and unconsciousness. With their help un-c can actually give us its experience of our waking lives but from its perspective. Due to the nature of dreams we split them into following categories:

A compensating dream tries to inform us of something we are omitting even while it is important, it shows us what we should be focused on or what we are forgetting.

A reducting dream is a sort of a healing mechanism. It repeats a bad experience over and over again in a symbolic form till we get used to it and it doesn't appear as horrifying anymore.

Prospective dream can give us insight into the future. It is not a prophetic dream as in a prophetic dream all details would have to match with the real future event but it can still give us enough details to spawn a lot of curiosity.

Reactive dream is like a reductive dream, except in the case of reductive dream understanding the symbology and interpretation of the dream automatically stops the repetition. In case of reactive dreams there is no symbology af these are a direct copy of past traumatic experiences. Reactive dreams usually appear as the result of a traumatic experience from war, etc.

There are more categories and subcategories but I am going to simplify it on these four for now.

Why are dreams important
The health isn't just physical or psychological, both aspects are part of the sum and both aspects also influence the sum, so a psychological problem can influence our physical state just like a physiological problem can influence our mental state. Dreams as the direct output from the unfiltered unconsciousness give us a decent overview of both the mental and physical state and as such dreams are a very helpful aid for the introspection (practice of self-discovery). Introspection was heavily propagated by F. Bardon in his work but even nowadays many occultists do not care about its benefits.

How to interpret dreams
In case of dreams we have a double symbology, one is shared for all of us despite of our race or culture and one is individual for us and it's based on our personal lifes, experiences and character traits.

This could lead to the idea that by understanding just the symbology we can easily interpret our dreams, which would be false and gave us a very general meanings at best. Even the best dream interpreter in the world will give a wrong definition if he asks a wrong question.

The right question in dream analysis isn't what does the dream mean, but why did I have this dream and where should it lead me to. If you ask yourself these questions while analyzing your dreams, you will start to understand where I am going. The dreams try to either warn us, inform us or prepare us for something, that's why it's not important what does the symbology in the dream mean (well, it is sorta important but do not overestimate it), but why we had the dream to begin with.

Magick / Kickstarter: Serpent on the Cross
« on: January 22, 2016, 03:14:28 AM »
Serpent on the Cross: The Ancient Occult Path to Liberation is a pioneering account of a secret spiritual tradition that is the Western counterpart of tantra. As well as providing an accurate history of this tradition, the author - an academic expert on the occult - also describes his own experimentation with its alchemical and magical techniques of healing and inner transformation.

more info here:

Theories, Articles, and Philosophy / Wax dolls
« on: January 19, 2016, 10:03:54 PM »
What is a wax doll
Wax doll is a small figure made out of wax, made in the shape of a human or animal you wish to affect. Wax dolls are a great asset for Magick. These figures have a bad reputation as in movies and certain cultures they are used mainly for maleficent purposes when in fact they are just focal points, they can be used for variety of tasks including blessings, telepathy suggestions, healing and of course, curses.

Why wax
Wax is naturally oily and a little bit moist on touch, these are the properties that a suitable volt materials should have. Speaking of that, any object containing fat, grease, oil, wax or other materials with similar qualities can be used for the creation of the volt, one famous volt creation counts with a dead frog baptised with the name of the victim of this powerful curse.

How to model your own wax doll
It is ideal to have some modelling wax handy as that one is very soft and can be easily shaped by your hands, in case we do not have such a wax handy, here is another solution.

For this method you will need some candles (tea lights are the best option). You will also need some paper, scissors and a cookie cutter of the desired shape.

Light the candles to liquefy the wax. Tea lights naturally have their own containers and it's easy to pour the wax from them but if you don't have any, just toss some candles on a pan and liquefy the wax there.

As the next part make an outline of your cookie cutter form on the paper and cut it out. This will give us the base for the form so the wax doesn't stick to the surface below. Another benefit is that the paper also holds the wax together during the removal from the cookie cutter and then can also be stripped and used again.

Now place the form on the paper outline and pour the liquefied wax in. It doesn't spread as easily as water so make sure to fill the cookie cutter evenly, then let the wax rest and solidify, this takes quite some time. You can figure out when wax is solid by color and also by touch (slightly pushing the wax won't leave there any fingerprints).

Now take the form with solidified wax and gently twist it, this will allow the wax to be separated from the form. Then gently and evenly push the wax doll out of the cookie cutter form. As the last part remove the paper base and your wax figure is finished.

Using the doll
Famous method of using the wax doll is to embed it with something from your "victim", a tooth, hair, fingernails... These can be added into the doll during pouring of the wax. The thing is you don't really need any such item as a visualization and desire are good enough to create the link. Attaching the photo or sigil that symbolises the target also helps greatly.

In case you are going to use needles, make sure to heat their tips first (e.g. in the flame of a candle). This allows the wax doll to sustain more "punishment" as wax is rather melted by the needle instead of broken apart. The wax that is liquefied this way also turns black and leaks out of the hole just like blood, making a great visualization aid.

Magick / My beginnings in the occult
« on: January 04, 2016, 12:01:07 AM »
So, I am back from a month long vacation that took quite a revealing turn as I recalled something from my childhood.

I am 28 now and I actively practice for 6 years but as it turned out, I was an occultist long before that. First of all, I got signed up to karate classes when I was 6 years old and a very basic form of meditation was part of the curriculum. Later when I was about 10 I bought a book about Ninjutsu (ninja movies were big at the time). The book was namely about history and dictionary but there was also a big section regarding meditation and kuji-in (hand gestures). Different effects were associated with different gestures and I will take a look at this later.

When I was about 12 I tried a silver magick ritual (sort of fluff dark magick but hey, I was 12), the ritual consisted of using 5 names: Astaroth, Dragonis, Moloch, Empusa, Nosferatu, shortly ADMEN (I remember it even now), when I was 15 I read A. S. LaVey's Satanic Bible which by the coincidence was the book that also refreshed this memory. After creating my occult FB account and getting invited to countless LHP and Satanism groups I got interested to refresh my memory on LaVey's satanism so I bought the book and read it again. The vibe of the book was the same as the vibe of Thelema which explains why Thelema felt so natural to me, I knew some of it from before.

My childhood
I've had some weird experiences before even attending school. For one instance I remember an experience during which I tripped and fell face first into a fresh concrete, my father wasn't really happy about this and I got beaten up for it. The problem here is that this didn't happen to me, but to my 6 years older brother, yet I still have this vivid memory seeing everything from the first person as if this happened to me.

For another one I recalled seeing myself from the third point of view on a couple of occasions, this happened to me especially during practicing karate katas. In other words I had seen myself externally while moving.

It happened to me at least twice that a time slowed down around me, both instances were during a jump which felt unnaturally long because of this. Something similar also happened to me during a fight in school when the time stopped fully while my "opponent" was caught mid-air. I remember thinking about how to use this to my advantage and where to stand so after "the time runs again" it will look impressive. During this maneuvering around I noticed my body still stands on the same place and while I tried to get into it so I can moved with it, the time started again and I got kicked to the chest :D.

Adult years
I became interested in hypnosis when I was about 17 and read a lot of things about it in the public library. I usually sneak into the section I didn't have access into and read there. When I was caught I said I forgot the registration card at home and will come with it the next day. I obviously didn't have the card so I never did. Btw this way I also learned programming which is what I do for a living now :).

In the time I was recently employed I got prosecuted for fare evasion in the city I never even visited. Someone somehow got my ID details and used it to identify himself during the ticket inspection. Problem was that I didn't have any alibi for that time as it was when I still visited the university and the university can hardly prove when someone is or isn't in the class, especially that way back. The events weren't in my favor so while waiting outside the courtroom I have used the jin kuji-in (described in the book I had as: for telepathy and the universe manipulation) to manipulate the court decision in my favor. Luckily I won that case and didn't have to pay any penalty or the court bill (in my country the defeated side pays for the court). But what is interesting I had this emergency "magical thinking" I would fall into if required to manipulate things I normally couldn't, and this was before I started being officially interested in the occult practice.

Few observations
I didn't only have weird experiences as a child. It seems that the universe didn't miss any opportunity to send some interesting pieces of information my way. Thinking back it doesn't look like it was my free choice to start with the occult, it more seems like I was meant to and the occult was dragging me in quite strongly. The question is why. Was I born with this kind of a plan for me or did it develop because of my early meditation practice? Like if you open the door will you then always be attracted to the light behind it?

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