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Messages - The Gunslinger

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Magick / Re: L.O.A paradigm
« on: August 30, 2011, 11:31:44 PM »

And since I'm throwing out a warning, I'll throw out an insight too for anyone who might try it out to see how it works for themselves: I have found some great successes when detached from the desire of what I was focusing on, while still maintaining the focus on the thoughts/energies actively coming into my life (ie, I attempted to gain things merely out of the curiosity to see it if would work, rather than because I actually wanted what the results brought).


I'd like to second what steve said here. When I've had success with the law of attraction it was always when i removed myself from what i wanted. When i stopped to think about it, it makes sense too. For example, if i WANT money then i'm throwing out into the universe that i don't have money, which sends the message of me being moneyless. However when i just expect money, all of the sudden i find myself busier at work, recieving larger tips. Just my experiance.

PS-money never seemed to work for me either, instead now i think "i love my job" as oppose to "i'm rich".

I was just curious what happens when you do let a demon take over your body.

Besides going bat-shit crazy, and having your life toyed with. For example:

Mr. Unholy has a demon that he named Frank. Frank the demon is a reaspectable demon, been damnin people for decades. He slowly unravels Mr. Unholy's mind until Mr. Unholy has had enough and kills himself. What now? Is Mr. Unholy a torchered soul damned to walk in Franks shadow? Or is there an "astral time limit" as to how long Mr. Unholy is damned? Do those who are damned get saved, do they get second chances? If anyone know's i'd like to hear the theories, plus i think it might help the OP make a more informed choice. After all we could say its bad all day long but without and example....

Or if appeasing these entitites is even possible or a most likely bad idea.

  I just want to say one thing them i'm done. Your probably well educated if what you say about being "well to do" is true.

  Was it fun waking up in the middle of the night terrified? Was it fun being in jail? Is it fun feeling like the only way you can get power is if you give up a piece of yourself to something malicious? Is power THAT important? Now i want you to think about that last question the longest, 'cuase that important to figure out for yourself.

 When i read the quote at the top of the page all i could think was "hell yes its a bad idea". But really i've never had anything like that happen. So realistically i'm not afraid to tell you, that i don't know anything about what your going through. Just from a third person perspective, it sounds pretty awful.

Best of luck, i hope you come out on top.

Magick / I think i'm just fooling myself..but
« on: August 25, 2011, 01:13:36 AM »
  Last night i decided to meditate to some ambient techno music. You can see what the type of music i was listening to by going to Digitally Imported ( is the website). In anycase i was in an altered state of mind (my room mate invited me to smoke marijuanna, I know, i know, i shouldn't do so for recreation if i want real progress, but when life gives you lemons... well ok not the best analogy). Anyway, i had just read an awesome website that had to do with Franz Bardon. And on the website it described how Bardon is still around, and helping his fellow brothers of light, to lead mankind toward the wisdom it has forgotten. It said that he guides men through telepathic suggestions and like all ascended masters shows up to guide you in life on occasion.

  So back to the meditations. I like meditations landscapes. I have serveral places i go to, and each place has several beings that i imagine to exist there. This time i just let my thoughts flow....

  I was underwater. A undine was ahead of me. She was beautiful, with flowing hair that reminded me of an astronaut in zero g. I am kind of a  lonely soul at the moment, so i asked her "do you know where i can find love?" She waved me to follow. At this point i felt the heaviness in my third eye and had the conscience thought that maybe i was communicating  with a being that i have no experiance to be working with. My occult knowlege is broad enough to know that you don't mess with undines and love, becuase without the strength of will they will take your heart. So i decided to swim in the other direction, and then stopped thinking about her becuase....

  I was in another landscape that i had never been to before. It was in myself, this place. It was a sterile white lab room. The kind of thing you see in sci-fi movies. Ahead of me was a elevator-type door. Above the door was a miminmalist metal plate with the word "magi" etched into it. I look to my left and i see a man floating there. He looks like Bardon, dressed in white, and i have a sense of peace, and presence. Serenity would be a good word for how i felt. I say "can you show me the path of the magi so i know if i want to tread that path." Smiling he says "go through that door and you shall see, but be forewarned for once you go down that path, there is no going back". I hesitate. What if i'm making a mistake? What if i want to go back? I say "maybe i'm not ready yet." Without another word, smiling, he vanishes.

  Now i'm standing there thinking "damn it. Here i am, possibly having a real experiance with a being i am not even close to worthy enough to talk to and i am a coward about the very thing i ask for". So i decide to go through that door. I rationalise this by thinking, even if i don't become anything but an armchair magician, i do want to become my best self and in the process get rid of my darker emotions. The door has a finger print identifier. I place my whole palm on it. And in real life my right palm becomes warm first, then my left, then both my feet in the same order.

  As i step trough the door i'm wearing a plain brown robe. There is a hall with a staircase imediately in front of me. As i ascend the room gets dark and gloomy, red vains of negativity are the only things that provide light. I'm scard. I walk forward and i ask outloud what am i suppose to do now. I'm given a vision of me abolishing the negativity in this room. I'm given visions of me in the future with magical ability, everyone reaspects and likes me. I remind me of Jesus. I'm a attracted to this perseption of me. One thing i've always fantasized about magic, is similar to the Jesus role in Christianity. I always thought it would be cool to roam the country side, going where God wills, and healing, offering advice....being worshiped...

  "is this a trick?" I think about it. No this is all wrong. This is just what i want to happen. Its not what i would really do. Only a fool wants the be worshiped, a magician knows better than to fall for vanity. The vision collapses and no matter how hard i try, i know its over. I can't just seem to get to that place i was before. I'm left with an inward messaged of something like "get some sleep, tomorrow you will learn the greatest test". To be honest though, i'm pretty sure this was just my mind trying to make the experiance something it wasn't. And well nothing happened today. Nothing obviously life changing.

  The truth i feel is this. I was just playing with myself. I don't think i was visited by Bardon. Although, i do reaspect him. And my subconscience knows that. If i was going to give me a message i would have picked Bardon too. The thing that made me write this though is that i just had an understanding of why i've never devoted myself to this path. Even though i don't have many friends, i'm not as popular as i once was, i don't feel like i can command a room with my charm like i used to back in highschool. I am still at the core of my being, right now as i type this, afraid of people. I'm afriad of what they think. I'm afraid of how they'll respond. Even on this forum (where i feel comfortable) i still get a twang of anxity when i check my post, becuase maybe i'll be flamed for my beliefs and no one will like me.

 It all just seems so childish. And yet its a part of what i need to change. I get it. How do you reject that part of human nature? It seems so counter intuitive that i haven't been able to get over it. I'm a hair stylist. Part of my job is to be concerned with how people view themselves. Its what makes me money. And honestly, if you want to have the real money than you have to dress nice. I don't feel like i do. Mostly i dress like a geek, becuase well, i am kinda a geek. It just seems like i'm being surrounded with how other people feel about me, i just want to shake it.

So what happens when you reject societies stero type of how your suppose to act? What does it FEEL like? Does anyone have any first hand experiance so that i may know what its like?

Also i would like to apologise. When i come on here i ask questions. I would like to get over this "taking" so i feel like i have something to offer. I understand that this statement my be percieved as low self esteam but i have always wanted to express that thought. There have been times where the knowlege on here and what people have said, has helped me emmensly.

Magick / Re: Demon hunting
« on: June 18, 2011, 05:39:46 PM »
 Do not mettle in the affair of demons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup!

Ok so i didn't add much. But ya demon hunting is kinda pointless unless you know what your doing. Like everyone else said. And then its not really hunting it seems like its more 'situational interaction'. I suggest reading every article on this site. other sources are good too... Robert Bruce for example is interesting, i dunno though sometimes he just kinda babbles and makes me think "well thats great mr. bruce but prove it".

I do wanna say though, if your serious about this, take on this new hobby with passion. I too started my quest when i was 14, i didn't know it then, but i can tell you, you have more raw determination in you right now when everything is fresh, than you will when your older and feel like you've heard it all before.

Start today, now, this minute. Hone your mind to be sharper than a razor blade. Imagine how good you'll be in 6 years.

Magick / Re: My life is at a crossroad....
« on: June 02, 2011, 10:20:54 AM »
I'd just like to say thanks to all those that replied, you all really did help me (and what i thought was kinda cool) and you all addressed little problems i had in each of your individual post.

Magick / My life is at a crossroad....
« on: June 01, 2011, 10:48:41 AM »
   It's more than a little lame that almost 4 months ago i was so gung-ho about the IIH that i figured by now I'd have more than a little progress under my belt. Needless to say i stopped practicing. It's weird too because i started noticing things in myself change for the positive . My mind became clear, not always untroubled, but more honed. It was hard to bring thought control into my daily life, by the end of the day i sometimes felt like i had just 'crammed' for a test i was to take the next day, if that makes sense.
  What halted my progress was mostly fear. I kept thinking thoughts i didn't want to think, only to have my mind latch onto them and constantly antagonize me. It was maddening, i sometimes seriously felt like punching my head and screaming "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!". Yes it was fear that made me the prisoner of my own mind. I feel weak, and a little pathetic. All the sage like advice i could come across didn't help when i was alone with myself. For example: While breathing in meditation i would think of myself breathing in fire. Well only being on step 1 that would freak me out, all i wanted to do is to become more self aware of myself while meditating. My brain being the progress leeching sucubus that it is, would latch on to that until i wouldn't (couldn't) think of anything besides that. So i would just brush off that meditation until next time. The problem happened that whenever i would get over one "bad" thought there was always another to take its place.
   Now i want it again. I feel like if i devote just a little bit of my life to this, that like a seed, i would bloom into a beautiful flower. I've also decided that some of it was that i couldn't devote enough of my time to training. I live with my mom and couldn't do some things. Such as japa, or i was constantly being interupted and reminded of what was going on around me, rather than what was going on inside me.
   I also question things that are important to me now. Will i lose everything to find nothing? Maybe i should spend the next two years living up all the material things of life? Will a life of control and celibacy leave me without the love a woman. Are these things important or only important to me now because i still live in this "shell of fear" and superficial ideas.

   I normally wouldn't just say these thoughts to another person, but i need help, moreover the help of people who possibly went through the same stuff. I want the knowlege, the insight, the why. Those questions won't leave me alone. Why are you here, Why are things the way they are, what are the ultimate goals of the universe, how can i be apart of it, am i alone, does humanity have a place, or are we a moss growing on the back of the Earth...Those things won't leave me alone. But how can i meditate when i'm trapped by my mind?

The Cafeteria / Re: 4 word story
« on: March 24, 2011, 10:22:20 PM »
while sodomizing a dog

edit- at first i used 'my' instead of 'a' but decided that describing the act of dog sodomy was personal enough... :wink:

Main Hall / Re: Marijuana and metaphysical practices
« on: March 22, 2011, 11:20:41 AM »
Do they have a negative impact on those kinds of practices? Any advisories?

It's funny that you should bring this up. I recently had the opportunity to partake of the cannibas plant. It was good stuff, but i ended up feeling really down, I mostly think that's do to the fact that haven't 'smoked' in quite a long time, and I've been trying to get a handle on my impulsive tendencies. All i could do for two to three hours was stare at the ground and contemplate why i had put myself in this situation.

On a happier note though, i brought up spirituality with the buddy I was toking with and it ended up being a fairly engaging conversation. I've always thought that when people indulge in things like pot, or other recreational drugs, that they are really just seekers. I would go from party to party thinking i was on track, and not knowing i was truly lost. Even though that sounds really cliche, i never settled.

If you can settle on pot being the most important thing in your life, then yes, it really does get in the way. But the same can be said about a lot of things, food, sex, ego...etc

Martial Arts / Re: Kid gets Destroyed by Fat Kid at School
« on: March 22, 2011, 06:27:41 AM »
 This brings back a lot of

 I'm happy that the "fat" kid found the strength to finally stick up for himself.

 But in a way i'm happier for the little skinny dude that got his face introduced to the pavement. The lesson there is not to stand up for yourself, but only to fight battles worth fighting. Every time i defended myself as a youth i walked out of it unscathed. The one time i fought someone for selfish reasons, i totally got my face pummeled. I mean i had a black eye, a gash in my eyebrow, blood down the side of my face. And to make matters worse the kid i was just going to 'throw around' was at least a foot shorter than me, and probably weighed 50 to 80 lbs less (and i'm not that tall 5' 7"). The lessons i learned that day was far greater than the lesson to stick up for myself was. I remember actually thinking semi-concused "this little shit made me bleed my own blood!?".

My heart truely goes out to the bigger kid though. I've been the one everyone picked on. I remember crying and begging my mom to just let me stay home. It's just not fun. I hope he finds himself, rather than holding on to the fact that he can dish out just as much pain, just as effectively.

Main Hall / Know any occult movies???
« on: March 07, 2011, 01:21:35 PM »
  I was just wondering if anyone knew any good occult type movies. Netflix seems to be letting me down in the search department.  :(

  Although i'm looking for more of a documentary, i suppose they could be fantasy too...Just wondering...

  Oh and please for the love of God, don't say 'Practical Magic'....or 'The Craft'. I'm usually not one to be a chooser while begging, but please...just please don't.. :wink:

Magick / Re: Who is Practicing the IIH?
« on: February 26, 2011, 09:10:32 PM »
OK so, i'm confused about how exactly to go about each step.

  For example, I understand how your suppose to break down the first step for Magic Mental Training. However the part i'm confused on is am i also suppose to do the first part of Magic Psychic training and Magic Physical training as well?

  Do i follow a linear path, one right after the other. Or do i do all 3 sections of Part 1 at the same time?

Magick / Re: So is there NO HOPE for me?
« on: February 14, 2011, 07:42:59 PM »
  Ok well that does make me feel better.

  Although the comment about "having intense emotion" while reciting said prayer did throw me off. Does anyone pray for instance, yet self destructive, happenings without intense emotion involved?  :confused:

  I was always kinda under the impression that in order for any pact to be made you have to know what your doing, especially with higher level spirit.

Magick / So is there NO HOPE for me?
« on: February 13, 2011, 11:12:10 PM »
  So i've read some post on here about making pacts with various spirits. I even read one where a magician made a pact with the Devil, and therefore traded power for his freedom after death.

  The reason I'm genuinely freaked out right now, is, as an adolescent i may have said "i will trade my soul for (this or this selfish desire). Now I only really pray, i have no authority over any type of spirit. Having read that this guy will pretty much be forced into astral slavery though is  disconcerning. Am i just being stupid? I'm almost positive that i'm wasting my time writing this but any sort of info will greatly put my mind at ease. What are the "rules" when it comes to stuff like this?

Main Hall / Re: What path did you start with, and why?
« on: February 06, 2011, 01:28:09 PM »
Goku: "KAMEA-MEA".

Is there actually anyone who doesn't know DragonBallZ? :)))

I remember reading on some rad-ki site about a "destructo disk" and how if practiced religiously that i would be able to cut threw boards with energy....Damn you anime, why do you have to be cooler than life..   :(

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