Need some help understanding this, has anyone heard anything like this before?

[Chaotic_Embrace]

 I don't know if anyone has done much research on the subject and I know its a touchy subject in certain circles but it seems like something "awakened" in me a year ago under extreme duress. I was practitioner for about 3 years by then and it was my first experience with the sensation, but I feel as if I'm being aggressively called to blood magick. These violent cravings to use blood in spells was overwhelming and it started getting more in depth with time. I noticed my blood started delivering a level of sentience when i was more in tune with my magical side. To the level of acting independently of my emotions or thoughts, such when I was unaware i was in danger, my blood started hypercirculating in a panic to warn me almost, or it would heat in anger independently when a I met a potentially threatening or manipulative person, even if I didn't get that vibe (happened twice, put it together from that) or even try to burst from me it felt like, toward people i hated to attack them even i restrained myself mentally. That and when I'm extremely stressed, especially when doing magick my palms will itch and circulate, almost calling me to do a spell with blood as its reputation for permanence and power will solve it. My partner is terrified and not supportive of the idea so I vowed not to give in and it was put under control, so it is not as aggressive of a feeling. But its still there, calling when things get tough. I want to understand why, how even its happening or maybe I'm misreading it. If i should in certain circumstances give in finally, or more aggressively resist it. Any insight or opinion is greatly appreciated.

[الظلام]

I have a similar experience, but it is more predatory and "immoral" then yours.

Essentially, I too had a calling to blood magic, however it came from more a feeling of bloodlust. There's this strange, powerful, but dark and violent attractiveness about blood. If you are familiar with the hermetic cosmology, I believe that this spiritual quality/emotion comes from the negative/infernal water element.
But anyways, this bloodlust compelled me to practice some forms of vampirism and blood magic(although it also expressed itself in extreme violence and lust for even more violence).

For you, it may be something similar, or maybe not. Do you feel that this feeling you have is coming more from just intuition? Or is it more emotional and spiritual? Is it more like an inspiration from an unknown source, or personal desire?
If it is more like your intuition, or more like a strange inspiration that you aren't sure where it comes from, it may be your spirit or higher self trying to get you into it for whatever reason. If it is more emotional feeling, and more personal desire, than it is probably more like what I had, and is the expression of a dark spiritual quality within you.

A lot of the things you mention, sound like your mind/subconscious honing in on blood, kind of like how a psion may get in tune with psychic energy.

And ultimately, the decision is yours. You are your own person, and may do as you wish. If you truly wish to get into it, than do so. One of the worst things you can do in life is throw away your own desires out of fear others may not approve. However, if you don't want to, then thats on you too
It is up to you to meditate on it, and reflect whether it is a true desire, or something you do not want.
Anyways we aren't the morality police

[Chaotic_Embrace]

I too have shared the bloodlust once. It was toward someone who severely hurt someone I love in a almost an irrepairable way and I wished to permantly bind and curse them with blood beacuse using that power. And as for it seems to be both an outside source and and a personal desire. To me blood magick doesn't have to be violent or ill intended, like any magick it is based on intent. Since my blood reacts somewhat independantly sentient i consider it outside force partially. However the more I research it to try to understand it, admittedly it is somewhat interesting in itself, so it may be a mix of that and personal desire. As for what you said on it honing in on blood, could it be possible that blood is, well for lack of a better expression "in my blood" do you think?

[الظلام]

I too have shared the bloodlust once. It was toward someone who severely hurt someone I love in a almost an irrepairable way and I wished to permantly bind and curse them with blood beacuse using that power. And as for it seems to be both an outside source and and a personal desire. To me blood magick doesn't have to be violent or ill intended, like any magick it is based on intent,

When I said my bloodlust expressed itself in violence, I meant literally in the sense of engaging in physical violence and actual consumption of blood, not just blood magic. 
But yeah I think what you are experiencing is similar to what I did, even if it doesn't express itself entirely the same.

As for what you said on it honing in on blood, could it be possible that blood is, well for lack of a better expression "in my blood" do you think?

What I meant was that your spirit/mind/subconscious is fixating and tuning in to it, and what you mention are merely the products of increased awareness.
Like how a psion, as he becomes familiar with psi, comes to feel the flow of psychic energy in his body, or read the energies in the environment or others.
I don't think you blood is literally becoming sentient, I think you are just tuning into it, sensing minute details and spiritual/physical activity in it which you didn't before. Our spiritual/physical bodies are doing all kinds of things which we are unaware of, but in this case, I am saying you are getting in tune with blood, coming to sense it in both a spiritual and physical way which we usually don't sense. Does that make sense?

[Chaotic_Embrace]

Yes that makes sense. I'm still having trouble coming to terms what that means for me. Why blood specifically? It definitely seems so much stronger of a desire and intuneness with it that anything else ive experienced. It's so strange.

[الظلام]

Yes that makes sense. I'm still having trouble coming to terms what that means for me. Why blood specifically? It definitely seems so much stronger of a desire and intuneness with it that anything else ive experienced. It's so strange.

Well, like I said, I think there is an innate spiritual quality, albeit a dark and rare one, connected to blood, that perhaps you simply may be affected by. Just like natural qualities like humans instinctively fearing the dark, or being drawn to beauty, or etc. I think blood has a powerful natural connection to our psyche.

Beyond that? Only other thing would be something personal, and that's for you to figure out.