Author Topic: Seeking Advice - Returning to the Light?  (Read 325 times)

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January 29, 2018, 08:39:38 PM
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I'm sorry this is so long and vague. I'm not sure how to put it more precisely. I'm looking for ideas and suggestions. Have you ever lost touch with your gifts? What did you do to get it back?

Not gonna lie, I feel a bit crazy posting this. It's been so long since I've let myself get involved with these subjects.

Backstory: When I was younger, like 8-9 years old, I was very sensitive. It was a sense no different to me than taste, or touch, or smell. Just a thing I noticed and knew and accepted. From seeing apparitions to hearing impossible things. It intrigued me, so I pursued it.

The more I explored, the more things I branched into and started noticing. The more sensitive I became. I meditated often, enjoyed the grounding sensations, started lucid dreaming, collected crystals, met a shaman, was attuned for Reiki, practiced that for a while, was interested in psionics but I couldn't wrap my head around it beyond basic concepts...I used to be able to see so many things. The colors outlining a living thing. The darkness hanging in sorrowful places. I was sensitive, intuitive, and empathetic. There was always a warm, glowing light within me that I could turn to, if that makes sense.

And then...I met a guy...and he was very critical of my hobbies in pseudoscience. And like a young love-struck teenage idiot, I let him convince me to turn away from it. I distanced myself from the subjects and put up a mental wall against it. I knew that light was still there. Even after years of abuse, in every sense of the word, done to me by the hands of that man, it was still there. Dim, but there. Yet I ignored it.

In time, I forgot about it. Like the light from the digital display on my window unit. Dim, insignificant.

I've been separated from that man for a while now, and in a good, healthy relationship now. I've made some new friends, and they casually mentioned their rather intense interests in the occult at out latest get together. That conversation reignited my curiosity, but...I've lost touch with that part of myself. I don't even know how to reach out to that light. I worry that I've lost touch with it for good.

I know it's still there. I can still feel it. I've tried meditating, but found myself frustrated. The thing is, I don't even know what it was, what it was called, what it would take to get it back...I know I had it before, and it's still there, but barely.

I miss it.

I just don't know what I need to try to get it back. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.

January 30, 2018, 02:54:15 PM
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I went through something very similar in that I stopped or reduced the light to a very dim level but my reason was because of too many spats (usually on here) and my health, my heart decided it was time to rest. I started back a few times but with little initiative and will behind it. I'm now starting/started up again and learning to work with and how to use my disability to benefit me.
I have started with basic meditation and moving from there, a good place to start I think.