Author Topic: Spirtual attatchment ? / Detatching from spirituality harmful ?  (Read 1506 times)

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August 18, 2013, 05:30:47 AM
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Mars

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Recently, I am going to University which is great, the next step in my life, but I went through a stage of depression recently. Where I stopped believing in psionics and the spiritual, had a fearful dream of death and the void, even though I had a dream in the past showing me the beauty of the eternal sleep. (Though I felt in it that I was meant to go somewhere after a heaven maybe, I woke up before going there but I experienced the void so to speak). Anyway I got largely depressed (almost dangerously so, not sleeping for three days), anyway recently I reconnected myself with my psionic practice and spirituality, as just meditation wasn't doing it as I was looking at it from a materialistic view, and suffice to say I feel a lot better and healthier and happier ?

Have I gained some sort of attachment or anchor to spirituality, psionics and the astral ?  :confused:
Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. -CS Lewis
Cultivation to the mind is as necessary as food to the body. - Marcus T Cicero

August 18, 2013, 12:14:21 PM
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Mind_Bender

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Going through doubts is all part of the learning curve and personal evolution on the path. A lot of times we feel an inner change that is world altering in our perspective, but it's nothing more than you settling into your practices. I've gotten ego-maniacal, thought I was some sort of messiah and occult prodigy- than I met a few very real occultists and a spiritual leader from India, and further reflected on my old views- not much to say, bit if you can get passed this hump, or avoid it all together by not feeding your doubts and fears (or denial of your shortcomings, which often leads to egomaniacal and fear based attitudes) than your doubts and bad dreams are nothing to worry about. Each doubt surpassed is a lesson learned.

Death, in dreams and divinition, often calls forth a change or transformation of some sort. Add that to your dream about the great sleep, maybe your subconscious/guides are trying to point out your potential and profound path in the silence of self and desire. Coming from a strong magical and martial belief and practice, often times this silence used to make me depressed, dangerously like you, because it felt like my will, desire and fighting spirit were being torn from me, or already gone. After I realized that silence is like a blank canvas for magic, spiritual progression and development of internal martial skill, I felt on top of the world with little doubt of my path and just enough ego, but not enough to drown in delusion, to further progress and be in tune with the present.
"Spirit is in a state of grace forever.
Your reality is only spirit.
Therefore you are in a state of grace forever."

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"...part of me doesn't want to believe that auto-eroticism while crushing on a doodle (sigil) could manifest a check in the mail box, but hey, it did."

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August 18, 2013, 05:02:51 PM
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Mars

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Thank you that makes a lot of sense in a way. Its sort of relieving as well to hear, yeah I did delude myself from time to time aswell, Its good to know someone has gone through the same thing.
Thanks for your perspective!
« Last Edit: August 18, 2013, 05:15:25 PM by Mars »
Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. -CS Lewis
Cultivation to the mind is as necessary as food to the body. - Marcus T Cicero

September 24, 2013, 08:55:35 PM
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The magicist

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While I've never dared to stop believing, I always have this skeptical voice in my mind that makes excuses when I have success. I used to be terrified that the voice was right, but now that I've gotten mostly over it, I seem to have made progress, although it's hard to tell with the undulation (see the thread "Undulating Power" in the psionics forum). I don't claim to know much about how magic works, but I think it was largely this doubt/fear holding me back.
Do not become comfortable with the purposeless pattern of everyday life, for the life of Piety is full of adventure.
Do not indulge in morbid or otherwise abhorrent thoughts, for a mindset of Mysticism confers a far superior pleasure.
Do not fear to sacrifice a small good to accomplish a larger one, for the ends justify the means.
Do not obsess with material things, for only the immaterial exis

September 24, 2013, 11:37:50 PM
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Enchia

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Recently, I am going to University which is great, the next step in my life, but I went through a stage of depression recently. Where I stopped believing in psionics and the spiritual, had a fearful dream of death and the void, even though I had a dream in the past showing me the beauty of the eternal sleep. (Though I felt in it that I was meant to go somewhere after a heaven maybe, I woke up before going there but I experienced the void so to speak). Anyway I got largely depressed (almost dangerously so, not sleeping for three days), anyway recently I reconnected myself with my psionic practice and spirituality, as just meditation wasn't doing it as I was looking at it from a materialistic view, and suffice to say I feel a lot better and healthier and happier ?

Have I gained some sort of attachment or anchor to spirituality, psionics and the astral ?  :confused:

That might be the case. What also is very likely is that practicing psionics and being spiritual active is giving you a sense of purpose and a sense of control which are generally things that depressed people experience as lacking in their life.